Saturday, December 27, 2025

The Babes, Another Story Missed

Once again I find myself not listening to a family member read a pair of newspaper articles my grandfather had clipped about Christmas due to COVID, this time because I'm isolating having had a very recent exposure (and being super tired so joining a zoom isn't in the cards). 

If you don't know this about me, I'm agnostic bordering on atheist, but my grandfather was a Methodist minister.  He grappled with ethics and lessons of good and evil both in his role as a religious leader as well as in his job at BU as a professor who taught society and ethics.  A few years ago, near the start of the ongoing pandemic, I shared the essence of one of the articles that he would read to my family throughout my childhood and someone in my family has read at the annual gathering each year since his passing.  I'd like to share the other and how I have long questioned the wisdom but how I now firmly don't believe it and why.

The article is from WWII and is about the author having recently read something about a conqueror sweeping through Europe.  The author was surprised to find that the conqueror was not the current threat but instead Napoleon.  He then goes on to explain that the "sign onto you" that God sends the shephards is not something fantastical but something every-day: a babe born in a manger, the most mundane of mundane occurences.  He continues but the general idea of the rest is that as long as there are babies being born, it's a sign from God that He still believes in us and that there is always hope.

So here's the thing: it's a wonderful idea... and after a fashion it's sort of true... but it's also blinding.  The point of the article is roughly that things don't change in a way that is not reversable and, more generally, that things that threaten us today may seem bad, but they will not be our end.  But none of that is true.  Things change irreparably.  After WWII, we will never return to a world without the threat of nuclear annihilation.  And the more we take for granted that things will continue the way they always have, the less we are able to adapt to growing threats. 

For example, climate change has been a pressing concern for several decades now.  I was well aware of what was coming back in the 1980's already as a young kid.  But if we assume the sea levels can't possible rise substantially, that our coastlines and weather patterns are relatively static, then we won't do things to try to avoid that future AND won't do anything to protect ourselves.  The longer we are blind to the situation we are in, the harder it will be to do anything meaninful.

Another good example is COVID-19 (and pandemics in general).  Yes, there are scientists researching pandemics generally, and even COVID-19 in specific, but we, as a society, do not appear willing to accept where we find ourselves.  COVID-19 has been, and continues to be, a mass disabling event.  Many don't know that, many that do don't seem willing to do much about it.  We ignore the risks.  Collectively, we have decided that we should return to how we lived prior to the start of the pandemic in most ways.  And it's true that we have made some good strides toward coping with the initial illness (vaccines, paxlovid) but we do not currently have any treatment for any form of long covid, nor do we have a firm understanding of its different forms, just knowing the symptoms/impacts we have seen.  And even the full list of symptoms/impacts are continuing to evolve.  But we turn a blind eye to it and say that clean air, masking, and other precautions are too much.  Like climate change, we struggle a lot with covid because of lagging indicators and somewhat invisible impacts.  I could go on for days, but suffice to say, we have shown that we cannot handle delayed impacts (including multi-day incubation periods) and appreciating invisible connections (like the damaged covid causes to all organs and systems).  And like climate change, we have not risen to the challenge that we face and therefore are continuing to cause undo harm to so many and ostracizing those who take reasonable precautions.

Ok, one more example: the current politcal climate in the US.  In November 2024, we elected Trump to be President.  We knew about Project 2025 which was a playbook for a lot of things, but among them, how to generally wreak havoc in government and get away with it.  That playbook drew on fascist principles and strategies.  Historians were warning from the early days about what to look for and everything they warned us about came to pass.  Courts have provided precious little in the form of pushback, but at least they provided some, where it has been entirely lacking from Congress.  The expectation from many is that when Trump leaves office, we'll return to the status quo.  The expectation is that what happens elsewhere (transitioning away from a democracy) can't happen here.  The reality is something different.  The reality is that there is every reason to believe that we either worn't have a 2026 presidential election or that it won't be what we expect it to be.  Even if we have such an election, there is every reason to believe that the playbook of the right will be adhered to with even greater competency than it has been in 2025 and that a greater ill will arrive to the US.

I don't have answers.  I don't know that anything can be done.  And that's the point.  What I do know is that it's possible for things to change for the worse and for it to not be recoverable, at least for humankind.  I know the world changes.  I know that our circumstances change if we feel like things will always be the same, we will not adapt sufficiently (level of response or speed of response or, even more likely given the above 3 current examples, both).

So, it is a lovely sentiment that as long as there are babes, there is hope and there is evidence of God's love, but that line of thinking is somewhat folly.  It can easily land you in complacency and the belief that "this crisis shall end and we will inevitably be fine." which is simply not the case. 

The first article still rings true.  It is about how the story of Christmas is about more than just good feelings but about struggle and there being real evil in the world.  My post about that can be found here: Who Took Herod Out of Christmas

Sunday, November 17, 2024

More 2024 Election Thoughts

There are a number of factors that went into the Democrats losing in 2024.  Below are just my very amateur thoughts:

1) Racism: I mean... there was a whole movement born out of Obama being elected.  Racism has been, for as long as I can remember, a dog whistle the Republican party would blow in every Presidential election but with Trump, that was now more open and obvious to the point of it being basically a bullhorn.  

2) Sexism: We just have to look back 8 years to see the impact of sexism in our Presidential races.  While Clinton wasn't a great candidate, if the same policy/behaviors had been from a male democrat, I think things might have been different... or that politician would have been a republican.  

Quick side note: It's also telling that we've only had 2 women Presidential candidates and 2 non-white Presidential candidates who have run in the general (and one of each wasn't there due to primary results).

3) Short memory span: nobody remembers how bad Trump was and certainly they don't remember how awful he was with covid... or they are in his base and think he did fine somehow.  

4) "It can't possibly be that bad therefore it's not and won't be": this is the same intellectual dysfunction that people have with all sorts of things, including covid and climate change.  It can't be that a white supremacist would be the nominee.  It can't be that a basic mob boss is the nominee of a party for the Presidency.  It can't be that he's being that openly dumb.  Therefore, it's not.  Also, Project 2025 is a nightmare scenario, so it can't be that they actually want to implement it.

5) Back and forth between the parties to resolve things: generally if the world is seen as being bad, it doesn't matter whose policies are actually better for the situation, one side had 4 years, give the other side a chance (even if the one side didn't actually have power during that time because they didn't have Congress).  I had a colleague who felt this way prior to Trump.  He and I are no longer talking so I don't know if he would still feel this way... but I can easily see this being a rational in combination with the third and fourth for many to decide that it was time to vote for a Republican.

6) It's the economy stupid.... but the economy is not an easy topic.  People know that things are more expensive now than they were.  Whatever the reason for that increased expense, they blame the current administration (a not uncommon scenario) and Harris was tainted by being in that administration.  

7) A general shift toward caring less about others.  In the spring of 2020, there was a general push to see everyone as part of the same community.  Republicans generally pushed against being concerned about the public's health.  As time went by, that push against taking precautions for the general public's safety became more and more accepted by the broader population.  By spring 2021, the "we're in this together" messaging from Democrats and media had been switched to "protect yourself for your own sake and don't worry about others."  A natural extension of this is that men shouldn't worry about women, whites don't have to worry about non-whites, straight people don't have to ... you get the picture.  And even if you were a member of a targeted population, as long as you're not overly concerned or think that you won't be more targeted than otherwise, well, then it's not like this election is actually that great a concern.

8) "Vote for me because my opponent is awful" worked in 2020 because we were in the thick of Trump-Terror... but it's a poor motivational message, especially when you combine with element 4 above.

Saturday, November 16, 2024

First They Came For The Vulnerable (Post Election Anger and Pain)


First they came for the vulnerable...
and you said f' them, yolo, and promoted not caring about others for 3.5 years.
and then, well, here we are.... did you think promoting a society where we didn't care about those perceived as vulnerable would lead somewhere else?
Do you care yet? Still only about select groups?
#ItsSoMuchWorseThanYouThink #ItDidntHaveToBeThisWay #NotEveryoneSurvived #NotEveryoneWillSurvive #IDontKnowHowToMakeYouCare #DoYouGetItNow 


Friday, August 4, 2023

Say Something (Parody of "Say Something" by A Great Big World as covered by Pentatonix)

(specifically this cover of the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dYlvdLdK9w)

Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll walk away, if you want me to
Anything I would've done for you
Say something I'm giving up on you

And I, am isolating
it's been three full years now
and yet just beginning
and I, am still trying to sing
I'm still fighting my way
but does it mean anything

Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry but I may need just a few
Anything, I would've done for you
Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride
For sake of the show
Need I say goodbye

Say something, I'm giving up on you
(say something, say something, say something)
I'll walk away, if you need me to
(Say something, Say something, I'll)

Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll walk away, if you want me to
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll walk away, if you need me to

Say, say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll walk away, just need ask me to 
Say something, I'm giving up on you
(Say something, I'm giving up)
I'll walk away, if you want me to
(if you want me to, oh if you want me to)
Anything, I would have done for you
Say something (say something), say something (say something), say something (say something), I'll
Say something, I'm giving up on you

I'm Tired

I'm tired...

I'm tired of hearing that we don't need masks because COVID is over (it's not)

I'm tired of hearing that COVID is now just like getting the flu (yes, people have been saying this since spring of 2020... who is saying it has changed but the fact that it's not hasn't changed significantly... there are things we can do now for some people but not for everybody ... including those of us who are fully vaccinated and on medication that prevents us from taking PAXLOVID ... and not for every outcome... such as so many of the Long Covid issues, including organ damage, brain fog, chronic fatigue syndrome-like symptoms)

I'm tired of hearing that masks are a significant burden (seriously? If I can wear one and put up with you being an ignorant jerk, you can wear one and put up with my caring about your health)

I'm tired of people not at all understanding precautions... yes, you can have a picnic in the field where we're performing... we're just asking that if you're going to be near us (ie, in a crowd watching the performance) that you mask.

I'm tired of people mistaking not testing for there's less spread (newsflash, even if you don't get x-rayed, if I break your arm, your arm is still broken)

I'm tired of hearing "but if this is just the conditions we have to live in going forward, are we expected to always take these precautions?" (yes... oh and by the way global climate change means we should shift the way we generate energy and deal with transportation and change our infrastructure... and 9/11 happened so we have security theater at airports... and the American Revolution happened so we don't send taxes to the UK... and we wear things on our feet when we enter businesses... and we have requirements for our cars that need testing every year to continue driving them... facts on the ground change, we learn new information, we adapt)

I'm tired of fighting for the privilege to provide my services for free in a way that I will be safe. (nothing says "thank you" like telling me I'm not worthy of, you know, existing)

I'm tired of knowing that nothing I say will change the minds of those that care about me (or those that say they do) and help them understand that it's still dangerous, not only to me but to them too (and yeah, I know this post won't change your mind. it's not for you, it's for me).

I'm tired of understanding that this is indeed the rest of my life... none of this will change, the spread will continue to stay at high levels with waves but where the valleys will never get to low spread, I will never go to a movie again (benefit/risk analysis is a thing), I will always have to watch what I eat (sure, covid has no impact on this but being diabetic sucks in some ways), I will forever be fighting for inclusion or will just have to drop participation, and you will never understand why my soul aches.

I'm tired

Tuesday, June 6, 2023

Call Me (Parody of "Hold Me" by Savage Garden)

Parody of "Hold Me" by Savage Garden

Hey yeah
If we can't find our way out of these problems
Then maybe we don't need this
When we see some risk
Normally we'd take on some precautions
Decided not with COVID

I might need you to call me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
'Cos tonight I'm finding it hard to be your friend

Call me tonight
Say it's alright

Hey yeah
More than angry words you hate precautions
I hear you so loud
Well I wanna scream
Cause long covid has caused so much disabling

It's hard to comprehend

So tell me isn't healthiness
Worth more than not wearing a mask?
I'm willing to just walk away
Though it would break my heart

I've never been the praying kind
But lately I've been down upon my knees
Not looking for a miracle
Just a reason to believe

I might need you to call me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your friend

Do you remember not long ago
We used say "together we can"
Boy things have changed now
You-say I don't live I exist
Just need to move on with our lives
Without fear
That's why the spread continues

Hey
If we can't find our way out of these problems
Then maybe we don't need this
When we see some risk
Normally we'd take on some precautions
Decided not with COVID
I might need you to call me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your friend
Hold me tonight
I might need you to call it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your friend
Hold me tonight
Say it's alright
I might need you to call the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your friend
Call  me tonight
Say it's alright
Ooooh oohhhh
Call  me tonight
Say it's alright
Ooooh Ooohhhh

Sunday, December 25, 2022

JJ Abrams' Magic Boxes (made of ticky tacky)

(to the tune of Little Boxes)

Magic boxes in the story
Magic boxes made of mystery
Magic boxes in the story
Magic boxes all the same

There's a time one and a ghost one
and a search one and a conspiracy
and they're all completely empty
and they all serve just the same

And the people watching tv shows
all expect some answers
and they're all so disappointed
cause they all end just the same.

And the JJ yeah the Abrams
never answers any questions
cause they're all completely empty
and they all come out the same.

And they move on to the next one
and find out there's something else new
that they have to figure out now
that is a complete mystery

and the mystery never gets results
and it keeps on being unsolved
or just goes away, unresolved at all
cause they come out all the same

and a new box comes along now
and it's all so mysterious
it's a box that's completely empty
which is just so completely lame

There's a time one and a ghost one
and a search one and a conspiracy
and they're all completely empty
and they all serve just the same

Wednesday, December 21, 2022

All I Want for Christmas is you (to take precautions)

I don't want a lot for Christmas,
there is just one thing I need.
I don't care about the people, 
singing on and off of key.
I just want pre-cau-tions now
any that you will allow.
Make my wish come truuuuue
all I want for Christmaaaaas iiiiis yoooooouYeah

I don't want a lot for Christmas
just for you to wear a mask (and I)
won't visit other people,
who can't manage this one task.
It's just hard to und-ersta-and,
and I don't mean to be brisk,
Seeing smiles won't make me happy
if they come with added risk
I just want to see you safe
cer-tain-ly don't mean to chafe
help me to see you
and not risk catching cov-id or fluuuuu, oooh baby

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow 
I can wait a few more minutes 
open windows for air flow
Maybe add a HEP-A system
to help pur-i-fy the air
if it's not too much troub-ble
I think it is only fair
cause if you want me there tonight
I think it is only right
what more can I do
oh baby all I want for Christmas is you (and not sickness)

All the rates are rising, just like they did last year
and though with vac-cines there is not much that you fear
but ICUs are fill-ing
I know it is confusing
It's like we're repeating 
the same thing every year
and we just re-fuse to see-ee-ee

I don't want a lot for Christmas, this is all I'm asking for
I just want to see my family, test before I'm at the door
I just want you to be safe, 
never ever meant to chafe
Let me come see you
and not risk catching cov-id or fluuuuu (oooh baby)

all I want for Christmas is you, not illness
all I want for Christmas is you, not covid
all I want for Christmas is you, not the flu

Sunday, May 22, 2022

Cruel Sumter (Cruel Summer part 2)

To the tune of "Cruel Summer" by Bananarama

COVID-19 and the people are continuing
to gather round
thinking it's safe cause we're not seeing highest of spread
meanwhile I'm saying (what do you say?)
that they're completely insane
Cases are higher than all of but worst of our months

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
spread as high as December
it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
like winter

Travel expanding, everyone's back to normal
I'm forced to be
the bad guy, not letting some things return again

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
heading toward January
it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
ignoring

just how high spread has become

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
(fully vaxed) not as severe illness still
it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
thousands die [in MA alone]

It's a cruel, cruel summer
coming together again
it's a cruel, cruel summer
now you're here
and I just want to run

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
(fully vaxed) not as severe illness still
it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
Long covid
and increasing variants

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
(fully vaxed) spread is still increasing
it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
like winter
oh and here's Monkeypox

It's a cruel...

It's Sunday Afternoon (A Casual Critter Song)


It's Sunday
It's Sunday afternoon
One by one we level up our characters
And collect our haul
Will we go where Matt expected us to go
or kill main plot points
How could you do this? [rips pages]
Casual critters, come join us
it's time to destroy this big rune
it's a big red button
press it
but one things for sure
we'll never be distract... oooh raccoon
It's Sunday afternoon
From sleeves are bullshit, to scritches with doggoes,
we all have the same goal
entertainment
and some therapy
make some jokes and role!
(you can certainly cry)
It's Sunday afternoon
(It's Sunday afternoon)
Casual critters, come join us
it's time to destroy this big rune
it's Sunday afternooooon
there is magic and mystery
from darkness our friendship will rise
but one things for sure
we'll never be distract... oooh raccoon
oooh get ready,
get ready
it's Sunday afternoon

Saturday, April 9, 2022

You Miss, I Miss

You miss activities we used to engage in.  I miss not having to constantly hear how you miss them and constantly feeling gaslit for trying to be responsible and trying to take responsibility for the message I send and the activities I promote.  I miss the days when people remembered the things we accomplished the prior year instead of jumping to the need to go back to pre-pandemic behaviors.  I miss not feeling defeated at every step (and admit that this may be my white straight cis-male middle-class privilege shining through).  I miss seeing some sort of hope for the future (again, privilege).  I miss feeling good about anything I do.


You don't like the fact that I'm still masking.  I don't like the fact that I have a higher risk of long covid.  I don't like the fact that I have a couple comorbidities. I don't like the fact that the city I live in didn't reach moderate transmission rate or even high transmission rate when we had nearly stalled out our progress prior to the removal of mask mandates and saw the rates increase again.  I don't like that masking has been made out to be some significant hinderance.


You're tired of precautions.  I'm tired of people not taking precautions for more than a month or two at a time.  I'm tired of the media, government, and individuals not learning from 2 years' experience.  I'm tired of people not going past an initial statement, like "this other country has re-opened in-person schools" to get to the rest of the story, such as "along with having constant testing of all students and are also seeing another wave so they're doing a lock down the likes of which have not been even considered in the US."  


You wish we could just go back to life the way we lived pre-covid.  I wish I didn't have diabetes and could go back to not watching what I eat and not exercising.  I wish I weren't getting older.  I wish global warming weren't a thing and that war and genocide and discrimination didn't exist.

Tuesday, December 28, 2021

Who Took Herod Out of Christmas, A Story Missed

This is the second year in my memory that I have not listened to a family member read a pair of newspaper articles my grandfather had clipped about Christmas.  If you don't know this about me, I'm agnostic bordering on atheist, but my grandfather was a Methodist minister.  He grappled with ethics and lessons of good and evil both in his role as a religious leader as well as in his job at BU as a professor who taught society and ethics.  I'd like to share the essence of one of articles that he would read to my family throughout my childhood and which someone in my family has read at the annual gathering each year since his passing:

"Who Took Herod Out of Christmas" is an article about how the story of Christmas is not just about the baby Jesus, not just about a miracle, not just about a manger, not just about Mary and Joseph. The article starts by saying that perhaps those that lament the loss of the story to the consumerism we see that has taken over the holiday for so many may be looking in the wrong place. Those that lament the loss of their soap box have long been neglecting a key component of the story: Herod. The story is also about evil, selfish evil, powerful evil, a nearly inconceivable evil. It is about a king who, concerned only with his own power, sent an order to kill all the babies. The article points out that this evil has been glossed over far too often in the telling of the story and the figure made out to be just a boogeyman, if mentioned at all. Perhaps this glossing over is because, in the darkest days of the year, days that are depressing enough already, it can be just a little too much for us to handle. But let the thought of the story sink in. It is a story of a king who sent his army out to kill massive numbers of babies. The story of Christmas is one of an earthly power seeking to destroy for no other reason than to maintain its hold on power. It is dark and troubling.

And yet this is not something that we only see in religious stories or in fables or in the movies, we have seen this story played out in our recent history. We've seen atrocities the world wide, with children being separated from their parents and detained in hostile conditions. We've seen genocides. We've seen the powerful of our world demand that we sacrifice the welfare of our children for some other "good", a "good" which is almost always entirely to the benefit of the powerful and not to the benefit of the meek.

The story of Christmas should be told in its entirety and not watered down to make it more easier to take, for it is in recognizing the darkness within the story, it is in understanding the presence of evil and thinking about what drives that evil, that we can more fully appreciate the story and learn from it. And it is in recognizing this evil that there is even greater impact in the other power of the story choosing to be born into this world in such meek and understated terms... but the meek/understated terms is the focus of the other clipping, so I'll leave us there.

Thank you for letting me share with you what has been an important part, and a missing part, of my Christmas these last two years.  One more thing that has been missing from my Christmas is the sharing of a particular song which I'd like to share with you now:  May the Light of Love by David Roth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVBYERSwc2E

Friday, June 25, 2021

Often it's the Opposite of What you Might Expect, COVID edition

(to the tune of "Often it's the Opposite" from Psych: The Musical)

Often it's the opposite of what you might expect.
Try to think to logical, you're usually incorrect.
Think with so many deaths the public won't re-elect?
It's the opposite of that,
the opposite of that

(public)                        But we're open
(me)                             Immaterial
(public)                        But we're safe now
(me)                             Inexact
(Senator Murkowski)  You don't think the governor has learned to quickly act

Try to be irrationale, you’ll free your head from pains
Pretending that we’re better now, will free the commerce lanes
Think the public sees that it's not all just candy canes
It’s the opposite that 
Yes, we’ll re-elect the rat

Often it’s the opposite of what you might assume
Think that you’re safe from spreading, I’ll explain things over zoom
Bet without precautions, increased cases won’t resume
It’s the opposite of that, 
My faith has gone kasplat
It’s the opposite of that,
it’s the opposite of that

Saturday, June 12, 2021

Little Things Have Many Meetings

The OPENAIR Circus is returning to in-person classes in 2021.  There's a bit of effort going into it and it's not going to be like the Circus I know and love... but it's something.

Here's the thing, I've heard people say "I'm so happy the Circus is returning to in-person" but none of that has impressed upon me that it's a good thing or that I should be happy about it.

To understand this reaction, let's start with the obvious, which is that my feeling is that the pressure to return to in-person classes ignores that some fundamental parts of what makes the OPENAIR Circus what it is will be missing due to the restrictions we're putting in place... restrictions without which I would not be willing to participate in bringing in-person classes together this year since there is still COVID-19 spread and, even if stopping the spread among vaccinated people weren't important, the population we serve is not eligible for vaccines yet.

But there's something more subtle than frustration about what we're doing and why.  There's something that's more problematic.  Such gratitude about returning to in-person ignores all the effort that went into putting last year's program together and suggests that roughly one third of what we're doing this year isn't worthwhile or at least is not as worthy as the other two thirds.  And what we did last year certainly was not nothing.  And the third of classes happening online this year is not nothing.  And suggesting otherwise is not nothing.

Usually, when someone says they're thankful for something you're working on, it makes you feel good.  But when they're thanking you for something you have reservations about... when they're thanking you and it makes you feel like they're dismissing other efforts you feel are just as worthy... that doesn't feel good.  It may even make you feel worse.

And I don't expect to feel "good" about this year's program in general.  I don't expect people to socially distance after having seen the large gatherings of lots of families at a local park.  I don't expect the vaccinated parents to wear masks without confrontation, despite the simple fact that the studies that have shown that spread is lessened by the vaccines also have shown that spread still can and does happen... and despite the parents being in the same household as those that are not eligible to be vaccinated.  No, I don't expect "good" to be something I feel this season... regardless of whether people express that they are thankful for in-person classes.

So, if you're in the OPENAIR Circus and thankful for the in-person classes, you can thank another organizer but don't thank me for the in-person classes themselves.... if you want to share your appreciation for the program with me, find another way.  Show your appreciation by coming up with something else to be thankful for or by following the social distancing and masking rules we've put in place.

Sunday, May 23, 2021

As You Return To "Normal" (aka, One Introvert's Plea)

There are a few things I would ask you to consider as you return to your "normal".

Forgetting the potential that your return is folly and that it is not yet safe to begin opening up the floodgates of network, there are still things to consider and contemplate.

This last year has demonstrated how extroverts very much dominate all conversations around what "normal" should be.  To me, as an introvert, this has very much given me the feeling that society does not consider me to be valid.  And that's fine.... but to my extrovert friends, I see you.  I've heard your explanations that it is human nature to not be like me... so, you know, that was lovely.  And to my introvert friends, know that you are valid, despite what the world (including your friends) may be proclaiming.

For those extroverts interested in seeing your introvert friends, perhaps you should consider how to change your approach with them as you try to coax them from their isolation.  Consider making your re-introduction of yourself low key, low energy, and low pressure.  A small gathering is ideal.  Consider also making it clear that you value their friendship and miss them specifically, not just seeing people. 

For those who are posting about wanting to give all the hugs, consider for a moment how that might impact your friends who are not as interested in that form of expression of affection.  Consider adding to your exuberant exaltations of how you will be hugging all of your friends upon sight that you will of course be asking for consent and perhaps that it will be limited to those who you think are into that sort of thing.  Also, keep in mind that your expression of interest in giving a hug may be pressure placed upon some, an unwelcome pressure that applies stress in an already stressful situation.

For those that are super excited to return to gatherings and exuberantly inviting friends and foregoing any precautions, you'll have to forgive those of us that are still watching the spread and are more skeptical about the position we all find ourselves in.  You should also be aware that some of us are watching, are not impressed, and, indeed, are taking notes.

For those that are gleefully announcing each activity "post pandemic", I feel I should remind you that we're not out of the pandemic yet.  We are very much still in the pandemic and if we're not careful, we may find that we extend the pandemic by quite a bit.  I know, I know, you're tired of hearing that and you're tired of the precautions and the CDC is trying to apply pressure to get people vaccinated in the only way they can think of and local governments are trying to get commerce and tourism going again so they can start taking in money and not provide assistance to those in need.... but wishing doesn't make something so and not paying attention to the situation doesn't make it go away.  



Thursday, April 29, 2021

Quarantining on my Own

[to the tune of "Dancing on my Own" by Robyn]

The state of Mass is reopening
Do you think that it's safe again
there's a big black sky over my town
I know the spread's there, yeah it's still around
I go to check the cases
I just gotta see it for myself

I'm quarantining
watching you gather
    oh oh oh
the spread is still the-ere
why can't you see it?
    oh oh oh
I'm giving it my all
but you're not quaran-tining at all
    ooooh
I keep staying on my own
[I keep staying on my own]

Cases fall and rise again
each time we let dooown our guard
I'm crying into my coffee
and spinning around in circles

Emotionally worn out
watching you gather
    oh oh oh
the spread is still the-ere
why can't you see it?
    oh oh oh
I'm giving it my all
but you're not quaran-tining at all
    ooooh
I keep staying on my own

So close to safe, but still so far
    [we re-open, the cases rise]
But you don't see the cycle's there
I just came to say goodbye

Walking away while
watching you gather
    oh oh oh
I'm giving it my all
but you're not quaran-tining at all
    ooooh
I keep staying on my own
[I keep staying on my own]

I'm quarantining
watching you gather
    oh oh oh
the spread is still the-ere
why can't you see it?
    oh oh oh
I'm giving it my all
but you're not quaran-tining at all
    ooooh
I keep staying on my own
[I keep staying on my own]

[I keep staying on my own]


Tuesday, April 27, 2021

Cruel Summer

To the tune of "Cruel Summer" by Bananarama (oh stop it with the suggestion that there's another song by the same name)

COVID-19 and the people are coming 
to gather round
thinking it's safe cause the state has relaxed restrictions
meanwhile I'm praying (what do you pray?)
that I'm completely wrong
Cases are coming, the spread hasn't disappeared yet

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
spreading among the kids

it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
now you're here

The city is crowded, my friends want to play
and I'm forced to be
around everybody, but I just want to go away

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
asympto-matically
it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
now you're here
Gonna wish only it was

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
(fully vaxed) asympto-matically

it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
now you're here

It's a cruel, cruel summer
coming together again
it's a cruel, cruel summer
now you're here
and I just want to run

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
(fully vaxed) asympto-matically

it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
now you're here
and I just want to run

Tuesday, April 13, 2021

I Can Be Productive

Sung to the tune of "Can you Feel the Love Tonight"

I can be produ-uctiiive
And do aaaaaall the work
I will not... pro-cras-ti-nate at all
by writing out a song

So much work to do right now
but none of it of interest
and so I'll go emp-ty,,, the dishwasher
and wash the pots and pans

maybe I'll fold my clothes now
and put them in the drawers
and go and water the garden, just a bit
and fix myself a snack

but I can be produ-uctiiive
and do all of the work
I will not pro...-cras-ti-nate at all
from tasks, I can-not hide

you might find that I haaave
digressed just aaaa weee biiiit
but you know.
that I will get the work
done before it's due


and if I get the work done now
I can feel so proud
and I will be able to say I did
and go watch tv toooooo

Friday, April 9, 2021

It's a Trap as only Beauty and the Beast Could Tell the Tale

[sung as either the Candlestick from Beauty and the Beast or as Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi]

It's... a..... trap, it's a trap, 
we must try to close the gap
for the Death Star is a firing 
and the plan has gone to crap

Shields are up, yes they are!
We can't handle the Death Star.
It is fully functional now
and we will not make it far!

Solo's team, where are they?
with their camouflage of grey
they should have those shields down by now
what happened I cannot say!

Cap-it-al, ships are there,
but they hardly seem to care
they aren't firing at all now
they seem almost unaware

Get in close, stay in tight,
we will still give them a fight!
Let the laser take their own ships.
We can't give into the fright.

That Skywalker said
the empire's good as dead
but they're here, get your gear
... IT'S A TRAP!




Thursday, March 4, 2021

Is My Anger Akin to White Grievance?

This week has had me comparing myself to those that support Trump.  Not because I support Trump.  Not because I deny science or suggest that the reputable news sources are full of lies.  No, because I was upset by something someone said about me.

I was upset that someone suggested I was fat shaming when describing my own situation, hyperbolized.... and I've since been thinking about why this upset me.

First there's the more reasonable leap of the two, which is also what, I feel, brings me closer to a Trump supporter.  This is the idea that someone thinks that what I said was fat shaming when I don't agree it was. I could go into why I feel that it wasn't fat shaming, but does that really matter?  And boy do I go into why it's not fat shaming.  But isn't this just what those on the other side of the political divide do?  Sure, they use false-equivalencies and falsehoods to support their arguments, but there's also the element of abuse is in the eyes of the abused and that the intent of the person saying harmful words isn't the key.  Words can be harmful without intent and those harmed should be the ones listened to... and yet I object to hearing my words are harmful.  What right have I to claim that my words aren't harmful?  I toss around a couple reasons, but are those reasons valid?  Is it even possible for them to be valid?  Should I not just accept that my words were harmful and try to learn from that?  Is that not what I'm supposed to do?   

Second, there's the idea that my health-related target is invalid and shouldn't be worked on.  This is the less reasonable element of it but somehow it plays out in my head.  I'm struggling with my weight, trying to get it back down to where I was when my doctor gave me the good news that I had an almost-normal blood sugar level, so to hear that that struggle is fat shaming suggests to me that people saying so feel that I should give up on my health efforts.  Having diabetes, not working on my health through watching what I eat and exercising has very real consequences, so feeling that someone is saying I shouldn't be working on it is akin to them saying they are ok with my encountering those consequences.  Clearly this is unlikely and yet it's still a feeling I keep coming back to when thinking about how I might interact with them later. 

But I digress.

Even as I type this post, I continue to feel rage, though lessened, about the insinuation that what I said was fat-shaming and all the defenses come up and all the anger boils.  And I have not found the reason why my original post was fat shaming.... and yet that's still an excuse isn't it?  An excuse to feel upset about having been called out for something I would proclaim as wrong.

I'm glad to say it's not overwhelming my emotional state as it was days ago... but still, there's this feeling...  and depending upon when I investigate it, I either go down the self-pity / anger path or the route of questioning whether I'm just someone of privilege being called out and then becoming self-defensive with no actual defense other than those like "but how can I be shaming people like myself?".  

It probably doesn't help that I'm frustrated with my efforts to improve my health and that we've seen that COVID cases appear to be back on the rise in MA (as well as many other .... while these aren't directly related, they muddy my mental waters with other areas of distress and anger towards others and myself.

I'm writing this both in an effort to help myself further my self evaluation as well as to identify that it's ok to do such self evaluations.  None of us are perfect and we should all strive to be better.