JJ Abrams' Magic Boxes (made of ticky tacky)

(to the tune of Little Boxes)

Magic boxes in the story

Magic boxes made of mystery

Magic boxes in the story

Magic boxes all the same

There's a time one and a ghost one

and a search one and a conspiracy

and they're all completely empty

and they all serve just the same

And the people watching tv shows

all expect some answers

and they're all so disappointed

cause they all end just the same.

And the JJ yeah the Abrams

never answers any questions

cause they're all completely empty

and they all come out the same.

And they move on to the next one

and find out there's something else new

that they have to figure out now

that is a complete mystery

and the mystery never gets results

and it keeps on being unsolved

or just goes away, unresolved at all

cause they come out all the same

and a new box comes along now

and it's all so mysterious

it's a box that's completely empty

which is just so completely lame

There's a time one and a ghost one

and a search one and a conspiracy

and they're all completely empty

and they all serve just the same

Cruel Sumter (Cruel Summer part 2)

To the tune of "Cruel Summer" by Bananarama

COVID-19 and the people are continuing
to gather round
thinking it's safe cause we're not seeing highest of spread
meanwhile I'm saying (what do you say?)
that they're completely insane
Cases are higher than all of but worst of our months

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
spread as high as December
it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
like winter

Travel expanding, everyone's back to normal
I'm forced to be
the bad guy, not letting some things return again

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
heading toward January
it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
ignoring

just how high spread has become

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
(fully vaxed) not as severe illness still
it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
thousands die [in MA alone]

It's a cruel, cruel summer
coming together again
it's a cruel, cruel summer
now you're here
and I just want to run

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
(fully vaxed) not as severe illness still
it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
Long covid
and increasing variants

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
(fully vaxed) spread is still increasing
it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
like winter

oh and here's Monkeypox

It's a cruel...

It's a Trap as only Beauty and the Beast Could Tell the Tale

[sung as either the Candlestick from Beauty and the Beast or as Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi]

It's... a..... trap, it's a trap, 

we must try to close the gap
for the Death Star is a firing 

and the plan has gone to crap

Shields are up, yes they are!
We can't handle the Death Star.

It is fully functional now

and we will not make it far!

Solo's team, where are they?

with their camouflage of grey

they should have those shields down by now

what happened I cannot say!

Cap-it-al, ships are there,

but they hardly seem to care

they aren't firing at all now

they seem almost unaware

Get in close, stay in tight,

we will still give them a fight!

Let the laser take their own ships.

We can't give into the fright.

That Skywalker said

the empire's good as dead

but they're here, get your gear

... IT'S A TRAP!