I'm Tired

I'm tired...

I'm tired of hearing that we don't need masks because COVID is over (it's not)

I'm tired of hearing that COVID is now just like getting the flu (yes, people have been saying this since spring of 2020... who is saying it has changed but the fact that it's not hasn't changed significantly... there are things we can do now for some people but not for everybody ... including those of us who are fully vaccinated and on medication that prevents us from taking PAXLOVID ... and not for every outcome... such as so many of the Long Covid issues, including organ damage, brain fog, chronic fatigue syndrome-like symptoms)

I'm tired of hearing that masks are a significant burden (seriously? If I can wear one and put up with you being an ignorant jerk, you can wear one and put up with my caring about your health)

I'm tired of people not at all understanding precautions... yes, you can have a picnic in the field where we're performing... we're just asking that if you're going to be near us (ie, in a crowd watching the performance) that you mask.

I'm tired of people mistaking not testing for there's less spread (newsflash, even if you don't get x-rayed, if I break your arm, your arm is still broken)

I'm tired of hearing "but if this is just the conditions we have to live in going forward, are we expected to always take these precautions?" (yes... oh and by the way global climate change means we should shift the way we generate energy and deal with transportation and change our infrastructure... and 9/11 happened so we have security theater at airports... and the American Revolution happened so we don't send taxes to the UK... and we wear things on our feet when we enter businesses... and we have requirements for our cars that need testing every year to continue driving them... facts on the ground change, we learn new information, we adapt)

I'm tired of fighting for the privilege to provide my services for free in a way that I will be safe. (nothing says "thank you" like telling me I'm not worthy of, you know, existing)

I'm tired of knowing that nothing I say will change the minds of those that care about me (or those that say they do) and help them understand that it's still dangerous, not only to me but to them too (and yeah, I know this post won't change your mind. it's not for you, it's for me).

I'm tired of understanding that this is indeed the rest of my life... none of this will change, the spread will continue to stay at high levels with waves but where the valleys will never get to low spread, I will never go to a movie again (benefit/risk analysis is a thing), I will always have to watch what I eat (sure, covid has no impact on this but being diabetic sucks in some ways), I will forever be fighting for inclusion or will just have to drop participation, and you will never understand why my soul aches.

I'm tired

Call Me (Parody of "Hold Me" by Savage Garden)

Parody of "Hold Me" by Savage Garden

Hey yeah
If we can't find our way out of these problems
Then maybe we don't need this

When we see some risk

Normally we'd take on some precautions

Decided not with COVID

I might need you to call me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
'Cos tonight I'm finding it hard to be your friend

Call me tonight
Say it's alright

Hey yeah
More than angry words you hate precautions
I hear you so loud
Well I wanna scream
Cause long covid has caused so much disabling
It's hard to comprehend

So tell me isn't healthiness
Worth more than not wearing a mask?
I'm willing to just walk away
Though it would break my heart

I've never been the praying kind
But lately I've been down upon my knees
Not looking for a miracle
Just a reason to believe

I might need you to call me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your friend

Do you remember not long ago
We used say "together we can"
Boy things have changed now
You-say I don't live I exist

Just need to move on with our lives

Without fear

That's why the spread continues

Hey
If we can't find our way out of these problems
Then maybe we don't need this

When we see some risk

Normally we'd take on some precautions

Decided not with COVID

I might need you to call me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your friend
Hold me tonight
I might need you to call it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your friend
Hold me tonight
Say it's alright
I might need you to call the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your friend
Call  me tonight
Say it's alright
Ooooh oohhhh
Call  me tonight
Say it's alright
Ooooh Ooohhhh

JJ Abrams' Magic Boxes (made of ticky tacky)

(to the tune of Little Boxes)

Magic boxes in the story

Magic boxes made of mystery

Magic boxes in the story

Magic boxes all the same

There's a time one and a ghost one

and a search one and a conspiracy

and they're all completely empty

and they all serve just the same

And the people watching tv shows

all expect some answers

and they're all so disappointed

cause they all end just the same.

And the JJ yeah the Abrams

never answers any questions

cause they're all completely empty

and they all come out the same.

And they move on to the next one

and find out there's something else new

that they have to figure out now

that is a complete mystery

and the mystery never gets results

and it keeps on being unsolved

or just goes away, unresolved at all

cause they come out all the same

and a new box comes along now

and it's all so mysterious

it's a box that's completely empty

which is just so completely lame

There's a time one and a ghost one

and a search one and a conspiracy

and they're all completely empty

and they all serve just the same

All I Want for Christmas is you (to take precautions)

I don't want a lot for Christmas,

there is just one thing I need.

I don't care about the people, 

singing on and off of key.

I just want pre-cau-tions now

any that you will allow.

Make my wish come truuuuue

all I want for Christmaaaaas iiiiis yoooooouYeah

I don't want a lot for Christmas

just for you to wear a mask (and I)

won't visit other people,

who can't manage this one task.

It's just hard to und-ersta-and,

and I don't mean to be brisk,

Seeing smiles won't make me happy

if they come with added risk

I just want to see you safe

cer-tain-ly don't mean to chafe

help me to see you

and not risk catching cov-id or fluuuuu, oooh baby

I won't ask for much this Christmas

I won't even wish for snow 

I can wait a few more minutes 

open windows for air flow

Maybe add a HEP-A system

to help pur-i-fy the air

if it's not too much troub-ble

I think it is only fair

cause if you want me there tonight

I think it is only right

what more can I do

oh baby all I want for Christmas is you (and not sickness)

All the rates are rising, just like they did last year

and though with vac-cines there is not much that you fear

but ICUs are fill-ing

I know it is confusing

It's like we're repeating 

the same thing every year

and we just re-fuse to see-ee-ee

I don't want a lot for Christmas, this is all I'm asking for

I just want to see my family, test before I'm at the door

I just want you to be safe, 

never ever meant to chafe

Let me come see you

and not risk catching cov-id or fluuuuu (oooh baby)

all I want for Christmas is you, not illness

all I want for Christmas is you, not covid

all I want for Christmas is you, not the flu

Cruel Sumter (Cruel Summer part 2)

To the tune of "Cruel Summer" by Bananarama

COVID-19 and the people are continuing
to gather round
thinking it's safe cause we're not seeing highest of spread
meanwhile I'm saying (what do you say?)
that they're completely insane
Cases are higher than all of but worst of our months

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
spread as high as December
it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
like winter

Travel expanding, everyone's back to normal
I'm forced to be
the bad guy, not letting some things return again

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
heading toward January
it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
ignoring

just how high spread has become

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
(fully vaxed) not as severe illness still
it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
thousands die [in MA alone]

It's a cruel, cruel summer
coming together again
it's a cruel, cruel summer
now you're here
and I just want to run

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
(fully vaxed) not as severe illness still
it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
Long covid
and increasing variants

It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
(fully vaxed) spread is still increasing
it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
like winter

oh and here's Monkeypox

It's a cruel...

It's Sunday Afternoon (A Casual Critter Song)

It's Sunday
It's Sunday afternoon
One by one we level up our characters
And collect our haul
Will we go where Matt expected us to go
or kill main plot points
How could you do this? [rips pages]
Casual critters, come join us
it's time to destroy this big rune
it's a big red button
press it
but one things for sure
we'll never be distract... oooh raccoon
It's Sunday afternoon
From sleeves are bullshit, to scritches with doggoes,
we all have the same goal
entertainment
and some therapy
make some jokes and role!
(you can certainly cry)
It's Sunday afternoon
(It's Sunday afternoon)
Casual critters, come join us
it's time to destroy this big rune
it's Sunday afternooooon
there is magic and mystery
from darkness our friendship will rise
but one things for sure
we'll never be distract... oooh raccoon
oooh get ready,
get ready
it's Sunday afternoon

You Miss, I Miss

You miss activities we used to engage in.  I miss not having to constantly hear how you miss them and constantly feeling gaslit for trying to be responsible and trying to take responsibility for the message I send and the activities I promote.  I miss the days when people remembered the things we accomplished the prior year instead of jumping to the need to go back to pre-pandemic behaviors.  I miss not feeling defeated at every step (and admit that this may be my white straight cis-male middle-class privilege shining through).  I miss seeing some sort of hope for the future (again, privilege).  I miss feeling good about anything I do.

You don't like the fact that I'm still masking.  I don't like the fact that I have a higher risk of long covid.  I don't like the fact that I have a couple comorbidities. I don't like the fact that the city I live in didn't reach moderate transmission rate or even high transmission rate when we had nearly stalled out our progress prior to the removal of mask mandates and saw the rates increase again.  I don't like that masking has been made out to be some significant hinderance.

You're tired of precautions.  I'm tired of people not taking precautions for more than a month or two at a time.  I'm tired of the media, government, and individuals not learning from 2 years' experience.  I'm tired of people not going past an initial statement, like "this other country has re-opened in-person schools" to get to the rest of the story, such as "along with having constant testing of all students and are also seeing another wave so they're doing a lock down the likes of which have not been even considered in the US."  

You wish we could just go back to life the way we lived pre-covid.  I wish I didn't have diabetes and could go back to not watching what I eat and not exercising.  I wish I weren't getting older.  I wish global warming weren't a thing and that war and genocide and discrimination didn't exist.